The Guilt

Some how my childhood memory pop out my head at no reason. You know when I was little child I have a lot of pets not four canine pet but two legs pets.
It's like this every week my old place had morning flea market. At those days we can get everything at there that include live stock.

My mom always go there every week and I followed to flea market. And buy those cute little cuddly two legs and flipper living thing and I breed them as pet. Before I go to next story, I let you know at those time I live at late 70's and beginning of 80's so my family lives in middle between average and poor financial so we always to breed this two legs creatures for future use like Chinese New Year, Moon cakes Festival or Lantern Festival. Goods at those days are expensive for us.

And as those cuddly creatures grows up is time to you know what..... . And my parents are not dumb they replace back to small cuddly back. I always ask why it become small? my parents always say they got shrunk. Until 1 day I saw really what happen. At that time I don't know what posses me ? I let it happen. Until night time when I go to check to that cuddly creacures. And this time it really gone. No my folks did not buy it, didn't I told you we are poor at that time?

I cries and roll on the floor. Plus tell my folks to bring it back to life. Yeah how stupid am I that time. From that day I lose interest to pet. Everything that I pet just died within 1 year until now.
Yet today when I memories it back I feel like ti cried and no tears coming out deep inside my hearth I feel like crush with a million of ton .

It feel better now when I write it out . I will write more my child hood memory when my "nog"
brings it back.